stripped

My eyes flew open, hit my a wave of nausea; I jumped from my four-post bed and fled into the bathroom. Not again, everything I'd eaten the night before flooded back, only tasting and resembling silly putty more than it did food. I sunk down to the floor next to the toilet and cradled my flushed face in my shaking hands. I looked up at the mural of the unicorn Katie had painted above our toilet. It didn't fit in with the batrhoom decor, or any other part of the house, but Katie loved her fantasies and she wanted it there. I snapped back to reality when I heard a knock at the door, and mom's melodic voice breezed through the cracks.
"Sugar, are you oky?" I groaned an unaudible yes. I stood up feeling better, better than I expected given I'd just tossed my cookies. I ran the shower, stripped down slowly and hopped in. I washed my hair and shaved my legs, taking more time than I normally do, but enjoying the warmth that the water provided. I towel dried and padded softly down the hall into my room. I opened the closet doors and dropped the towel. I reached into the dangerous depths of my well-adorned closet and pulled out a green skirt and a white t-shirt. Taking them to the bathroom I ran over everything I had to do that day. I had a chemistry test, a huge paper for lit that I was reading today, then my tennis meet, that I would once again have to miss.
I thought, maybe a little excessively about my meet that night. I put on my make-up, and straightened my hair; I gagged a little of the taste of the toothpaste and put my clothes on. I walked upstairs and sat down on my mom's bed. Today was suppose to be a completely normal day, completely normal given the fact I'd missed a month and a half of school.
"Mom, I'm nervous. Everybody at school knows. What if everything is different?" My voice quivered as I spoke. She looked at me, my fate was sealed. She was making me go to school.
"Evie, I know this is going to be hard. After all that's gone on you deserve to be back in the swing of things. You'll do great, you'll have fun, and it will be okay." Although Mom's voice was reassuring, I wasn't reassured. I gave her a hug and climbed off the bed and walked into the kitchen. Mom followed me, while I clamored around the room, she watched intently. "I hvae your lunch in the fridge; pepperonis, cheese, pickles, lots of strawberries and doritos. Your keys are lying on the counter;" Mom grabbed my hand. "I love you Evelyn, no matter what. This doesn't change who you are; it just broadens the groups of people you can relate to."
I chuckled. Leave it to Mom to try to make a funny about this. I hugged her, grabbed my stuff and swiped my keys off the counter. I opened the breezeway door and looked at my baby. She was black and old and oh so gorgeous. I didn't know anyone else that was lucky enough to have something as pretty as her. I slid into the driver's seat of Chevelle, and started her up. I took a deep breath and drove to the high school, I feared my parking spot would be taken but I shouldn't have, it was empty.
I looked at the building I was about to enter; I'd only be roaming those halls for another two months. Graduation was approaching quickly. I started dreaming about not being in high school; suddenly there was a knock on my window. I jumped a little and looked, a smile slowly crept across my blank face. I opened the door and stood up, suddenly I was bombarded by several super big hugs.
"I'm so glad you're back Evie, I missed you something terrible. Everyone's been wondering where you have been, but most of them know what happened. The police came that week and told us! I'm so sorry, we didn't stay that night. We've tried calling but no one's been answering." Summer was shouting and jumping and hugging me all at once.
"I didn't know the cops came." My voice was quiet, and suddenly I felt queasy all over again. "Mom and I went on a trip to Las Vegas after everything was settled. She thought getting out of town might help."
When she moved aside, I saw the only person I'd hoped would be there that day. Addison was quiet as usual; slowly he pushed summer out of the way and hugged me.
"I love you, Evelyn. I just wanted you to know." I always believed words whispered in a hug were the most sincere, and I was right.
"I know." They were the only words I could muster, but I prayed he knew what I meant.
My friends and I walked into the school. Heads turned to watch me as I walked by. The feeling of being watched used to excite me, but then it was because I was irresistibly adorable, now it was different. I feld judged, I felt violated than there stares. I knew they weren't looks of anger or contempt but rather pity. I wish they were angry.
I walked to lit class alone. I walked into the room and sat down in the desk I had before I'd left. Today was the day I was supposed to read my paper. It was my first day back, and I had to read the hardest paper I'd ever written. I sat my laptop on the desk and opened it. I was one of the few students that happened to carry their computer with them in class, but i preferred typing to writing. As the rest of the students filed into the room I skimmed the paper I was about to read. Then my eyes went back to the title Stripped.
"Eve, would you like to read today?" Mrs. Gilbert inquired as she passed my desk. I nodded. I would read my paper off my computer, I would read it sitting down and I would do it now. The class quieted down and I took a deep breath.
"Every person in this room as been to a party. Some parties center around swimming pools, others around boxing matches, but most parties center on losing yourself." My voice echoed in my head, I faltered. "I went to parties, all the time, never expecting to be stripped. Stripped of my innocence and everything that I held close, everything that I held sacred." I kept reading. Tears welled up in my eyes and when I looked around, I knew that my classmates were crying too. I finished reading and shut my laptop.
I finished the school day and drove home. I was feeling icky and my skirt had been feeling tight all morning, I couldn't wait to get home and put some sweats on. I stopped to pick up a cherry coke and a newspaper. A picture of President Bush and a nasty headline filled the page. "Great," I thought "stupid liberal media." I pulled my car into the garage with out hitting any of mom's three suicidal cats and basically fell out of the car. I was exhausted. I dropped my school bag on the empty floor, it looked so alone. I walked down the hallway, straight to he closed door.
I pushed the handle and swung it open, flipping on a light. I didn't move any farther into the room. I dropped to the floor and stared blankly. I looked at all my sister Katie's stuff and cried. Her photography on the walls, her poster of Tom Cruise, I drank in her essence. Katie loved me, I knew that much, I wondered if she had known how much I had adored her. I never thought I'd have to go through this without her.
I had to take a test, a test most high school students and college girls dread. Mom was bringing it home. I closed the door to Katie's room glancing one last time at all fourteen of her prized music stands that she spent two semesters painting for her art competition. Those stands kept her up more often then not and once she was done, she had let everyone know. I closed my eyes and pictured katie brushing back her untamable hair, covered from head to foot in paint just trying to get the last one done. Suddenly, I heard the front door open and I knew it was time.
When I got upstairs Mom was standing there but so was Addison. Mom solemnly handed me the box and walked with me to the bathroom. I could figure out why he was there, but I wasn't going to complain. I needed all the moral support I could get. I entered alone leaving Mom and Addison standing outside the door. A few minutes later I emerged we set a timer and sat down on the couch, I put in "The Breakfast Club." I lost myself in the move, only passing back through reality when the timer went off and mom walked into the bathroom. I didn't want to look at her face when she came out, I knew it would tell all. She sat down on the couch and put her arm around me. I let my head fall into the crook of her arm, tears streamed down my face. As I cried I felt slight pressure on my left hand. Through the tears I glanced at my ring finger. It was beautiful. THe small simple diamond ring said it all.
I never asked for my sister and I to get shoved into the backseat of a drunk's car, or to be raped. I never aksed for my precious Katie to die trying to protect her baby sister. I didn't ask to get pregnant from a guy I never knew, in a moment of pain and anger. But in the things I never asked for, I got all I every dreamed of.