Quik Trip Courting
Kaelinn came to work for QT, a convenience store and gas station, the summer before my senior year. She was cold and aloof with me but always flashing her dazzling smile, and melodically laughing with customers. I tried to catch her throughout our shifts but she never allowed herself to be caught. I tried jokes but she never laughed; I tried questions but she always skirted around the answers. I tried to chalk it up to her superiority. She was a woman returning home for the summer from college and I was just a boy but when our eyes met I knew it was more than this. Her churning hazel eyes told a harrowing tale of mistrust and hurt. I had never seen the flash of happy green in them until he walked through our doors.
“Hey.” Kaelinn’s beautiful voice floated past her Hepburn-like smile. It was QT policy to greet every customer that walked in the door – if it hadn’t been for the tone in her voice I wouldn’t have looked up from my sweeping. But there was something genuine this time
I looked at the man who had just opened in the door. He was leaning forward with his arm outstretched behind him holding the door for a bulging pregnant mom and her summer tanned kids. I looked back at Kailinn as she stood like an ornament at the check stand. The dark hair was swept across her face, like a fortress shielding her eyes but I could tell she was still looking at him with a smile that had never been directed at me. I looked back him. He was in khaki cargos and blue and white stripped polo. He swept his sunglasses onto his blonde hair and boldly returned her smile. A clatter from behind me broke my analysis and I turned to see a bunch of miscreants had dumped freezoni all over the floor.
“Jordan, you need to get the mop.” The manager directed me away from my sweeping and onto mopping.
“On top of it Terry,” I said as I walked toward the mop closest, dismayed at not being able to watch Kailinn reject another QT suitor. Almost consistently twice a week some guy waltzed into the store and offered to give her his number, or brazenly asked for hers. Never once had she been charmed into a number exchange. Of course, I held onto the fleeting hope that she was saving her digits for me. I wasn’t worried about this guy at all. I filled the mop bucket and dumped in a cup of Coca-Cola, a trick of the trade, and worked at mopping up the melting blue puddle between the island and the drink bar. The store was busy; voices weaved in and out of the doors, and aisles but I could pull out Kailinn’s voice at the check stand.
“Marlboro reds, sure. Can I see your ID?” she was so great with customers.
“You need to swipe it?” the customer said.
“Naw, I may be an English major but I bet I can do that math,” everyone chuckled, “alrighty you’re total is going to be five forty eight. Out of ten? Alrighty, your change makes six, seven, eight, nine and ten. Have a great day and stop back!”
A click of the intercom turning on and “Help to the front” kailinn’s voice rang through the speakers. I leaned the mop down and popped to the counter next to her.
“Sir I can help you down here?” I nodded toward the same Abercrombie model who had so obviously been entranced by Kailinn already.
“Uh” he looked at Kailinn then back to me “go ahead and get someone else.” He turned and whispered something to the old man with his cup of coffee. The old man shuffled towards me. I rang up his cup of coffee and made small talk but I always kept my eye on the smooth talker as he moved up in line. She was so efficient despite her newness to the job and we quickly worked through the mini-rush. Every time the guy got near the front of the line, he looked around and then walked around the story again. I had to laugh. What was this guy nervous? Ha if he only knew he was surely going to be rejected.
I had grabbed the last pack of Bronson menthols for my last customer. I scanned all the cigarettes slots and mentally noted what I needed to grab. As I walked back across the check stand with the cartons of cigarettes that needed stocked I noticed he was making his way towards the front again. The top box of my pile fell and I crouched down to get it; it had tumbled right next to Kailinn’s legs. They were beautiful. Muscular. Tan. I wished after work I could take her home and we could sit on the couch and she would drape them across my lap and I could touch them freely. One of her legs kicked up, almost into my face and made me fall back onto my ass. I looked up but she didn’t look down. Her shoe sat on the toe and dragged itself across the carpet and back behind her other ankle. I had never seen her do this before. What the hell?
“How are you today?” Kailinn said.
“I’m doing well. It’s pretty hot out but the office is air conditioned so I can’t complain.” He slid a snickers and a can of dr. pepper across the counter. “How are you?”
“I’m well.” Her lips wiggled as her fingers tapped the screen. “It’s gonna be two-oh-four.” She looked up at him again. I’d quit even trying to stock cigarettes, I wanted to see his rejection.
He dug through a brown leather wallet and pulled out three ones. She took the bills and popped open the drawer. She dug out his change.
“Your change is gonna make your three.” She held her cupped hand out for his. He tucked his hand under hers and I swear I almost saw the sparks flying. She dropped the change and quickly pulled her hand back. I looked from face to face both had flushed pink.
“Stop back.” She dismissed him and looked down at me “Let me help you with those.” She sank to her knees beside me. I’m not sure what the guy did next I was too caught up in kneeling behind the cash register with this divine goddess. She was fumbling with the cartons of cigarettes.
“Oh my god Jordan.” She said my name. She said my name breathily. I could almost feel the sweet air from her mouth.
“What? The boxes are just tricky sometimes you got open them like this.” I ripped open a cigarette carton. It was just flimsy cardboard but I wanted her to notice how muscular I was…maybe a cigarette box wasn’t the best thing to show this off.
“No.” she shook her head, “Did you see that guy?”
“Yea what a loser. The office? Come on I bet he sits at home and watches MTV while his parents pay for everything.” I chuckled at my own wit. She wasn’t laughing. I looked up and watched a few traces of green disappear back into the brown of her eyes. They were no longer soft and laughing they were harsh and hurt.
“Right.” She tossed the carton she had been tugging at back on the floor and left.
Awesome Jordan, maybe she actually liked that guy. God I’m a dumb ass. I heard chuckling from behind me. “What?” I asked.
“If it was any more obvious that you are in love I think Disney would be filming.” Terry was leaning against the cigarette racks behind me.
I stood up and looked around. Kailinn had found Susan, another clerk for the store and they were excitedly gabbing away in the corner, but I couldn’t hear them so I guess they couldn’t hear me.
“I am not in love.” I was indignant. “Do you think she actually likes that guy?”
Terry just snorted and walked past me to help the guy at the counter.
The guy kept coming back. I think there was a mole giving out her schedule to this guy. Every time she was scheduled he was there always buying the same things – a candy bar and a dr. pepper. I wanted to resent him but something about him made her even more beautiful. Her steps were light on the way into work and I could catch her singing in the coolers. It made me sick. I wanted to be the guy that she was thrilled about. They never talked about anything really. I know because I always managed to place myself next to them. I didn’t understand why she was so interested in him. He was just a ken doll. But somehow I couldn’t hate him. Somehow he brought her to me.
“Hey Jordy.” She popped her head into the cooler.
“Why in the world do you call me that?” I loved that she had given me a nickname.
“Fine,” she picked up an empty flat and tossed it at me, “I’ll quit.” She pouted.
“Stop.” I threw the box back. She swung the door shut blocking the throw. Her head peeked in through the window and she stuck her tongue out at me and disappeared. I kept sliding cans and bottles down their tracks. The doors would open and slam shut letting quirps of conversation and warm hair rush past racks.
The intercom beeped. “Help to the front.” I set down the bottles in my hand and walked out of the cooler, through the back room and to the front. Mini rushes weren’t bad. Terry always put Kailinn on the middle register; the regulars loved her and I got to stand by her side on the second register so who was I to complain? A middle-aged man with a loaf of bread and a 24 pack of mountain dew handed me his food stamps card. Our only food stamps reader was on the first register. I walked up behind Kailinn and comfortably rested on hand on her hip as I leaned and swiped the card with the other. She took a half step back into me, wriggling her ass dangerously close to my pants and looked over her shoulder at me.
“Oh I didn’t see you there.” She said with a wink. The green in her eyes was becoming a constant thing and I loved it.
“Sure sure you didn’t.’ I pushed a few buttons on the machine and grabbed the keypad. “Sir if you could put your pin in here” I handed him the pin pad. “Did you want a sack for your bread”
“No thank you” the man’s voice was hoarse as he handed me back the pin pad. “Can I get a back of Bronson no filters too?”
“Sure thing” I reached to the quick reach cigarette drawer below me and grabbed him a pack “It’s going to be three fifty nine.”
“Hey you!” Kailinn said. Her tone told me exactly who had walked through the door.
“Aloha.” He perched his sunglasses on the top of his head – always Mr. Suave. He walked around the store.
The man handed me his $3.59 in change and heaved the 24 pack out the door. I waived the next customer up. The beeping of the cash registers alerting us that gas was being pumped chirped at me, the orange blinking told me what pumps were being used. I tapped my fingers on the screen turning the orange blinking to a solid red and ceasing the endless noise.
“I need to prepay twenty five on pump 2.” The kid in front of me threw his cash on the counter and walked out the door. I tapped in twenty five and hit pump two. The rush was over and only a few people remained milling around the store. Mr. Suave included.
“Uh Kailinn why don’t you go fill cups” Terry nodded toward the guy, well actually the cups but my heightened sensitive to this beau made me paranoid.
She blushed. “Just for you though Terry.” She walked off the stand and towards the guy.
“Why’d you have to go and do that?” I looked at Terry.
“Jordan. She likes him. Look at them.” His eyes pointed towards them. She was filling cup lids and he was leaning against the countertop next to her. The single dimple she had grew as she tipped her head back and laughed. He was saying something to her but I couldn’t hear it. He reached up and brushed the hair away from her eyes. She blushed. I could imagine him telling her that she was beautiful and her eyes were gorgeous. What did he know? Who was he to make her smile that way?
“I’m gonna go stock the large vault. Don’t expect me back any time soon.” I shoved past Terry and threw open the vault doors. I dragged the step ladder to the end of the beer and started pushing the boxes to the front. I wish I could just drink some of it, Jesus then at least I wouldn’t be so worried about him touching her. The doors burst open at the end and I turned to see Kailinn lean up against the corner.
“Jordy?” She tucked her hands in her front pockets and looked at me – green eyes dazzling against the grey of the cooler.
“Yea?” I went back to moving beer around.
“Can I talk to you?” She walked closer. “I need a guys opinion.”
I didn’t want to be that guy. It was going to be about him and I didn’t want to hear about him. I had managed three weeks of their Quik Trip courtship without really hearing about him and now here it comes – the atomic bomb to my hopelessly hopeful heart.
“Shoot, is it about him?” I hoped maybe she was going to ask me how to get him off her.
“Duane” She corrected..
“Yea” God, I thought, he has a name. No pretending he doesn’t exist now.
“Well, he hasn’t asked for my number or to go get coffee or anything.” She looked up at me. From my position on the step ladder I could see just how curvy she was. I loved the nights when I worked later than her and she’d have plans. She’d change in our bathroom and come out in non-work clothes. Her figure was glorious I imagined taking her home with me and exploring that figured. I knew she was still looking at me, so I ended my adventure early and raised my eyebrows at her.
“Do you think he actually likes me?” her voice sounded small. The turbulent brown flooded back into her eyes.
“If he didn’t why would he been in here spending two dollars every day?” I hated to admit it.
“Two oh four” She winced a smile realizing how ridiculous the correction was. “Well then why hasn’t he asked?”
“Maybe he is shy?” I was shy, maybe…Duane…, was too.
“So should I ask him?”
“Sure if you want to.” Maybe if she asked him he’d be put off by her forwardness, or maybe he’d be turned on by it.
“But I’m not that type of girl!” Her face pleaded me to tell her something to fix things.
“Well then just be patient. He comes in enough maybe he’s just working up the courage.” I tried to appease her sullen face. Okay, so maybe I just wanted her to be happy, or maybe I hoped he was just a flirt who had a long-term girlfriend and she would be crushed when she found out and fall hopelessly into my consoling arms.
“I’ve even dropped hints like, ‘I don’t have anything going on tonight’ or ‘what are you doing this weekend’ but he never picks up on it.” She had come closer and was leaning on the stool now.
“Well,” I didn’t know what to say, “you’re a great girl he’s probably just shy.”
The intercom beeped. “Help to the front”
“I’ll go” she said and rushed out of the cooler.
Another few weeks passed and he hadn’t asked her out yet. She caught me in the cooler on a regular basis to chit-chat about stuff. I began to appreciate this guy. Maybe his blonde male-Barbie look made her see me for the dark haired rogue that I was. But his inability to ask her out seemed to match mine, but he was growing more bold and I was creeping into the friend zone.
One night after work she came sprinting back into the store. I could see her gleaming smile as she bolted back through the doors.
“LOOK!” She slammed a piece of construction paper down on the counter. She was breathing heavily and there was no brown left in her brilliantly green eyes.
I looked at the construction paper. There was heart crayoned on the front of it and her name written on it. I opened the card.
Beautiful, I have absolutely adored getting to know you. It is so great to
finally meet someone as genuine as you. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.
I think I’m ready to step up from acquaintance to relationship. See you
tomorrow. Duane
I felt like throwing up but everyone else working was thrilled.
“He’ll probably ask you out tomorrow!” “Be sure you look good!” “Are you excited?” the clerks were all chiming in but I was silent.
“You were right Jordy! He was just shy!” She punched my arm.
“Yea, woo” I could feel my shoulders slouching “I was right”
I walked to the back to grab the broom and left them all chirping with excitement.
So much for my theory of him contrasting me enough to make her see me romantically. Why hadn’t I jumped the gun? Why didn’t I ask her out first? Him and his stupid paper card stole the limelight again. I could only imagine what sort of gallant white-knight heroics he would pull off tomorrow.
The next day at work the air was jittery. Every time the door opened all heads turned to scope out the customer – hoping it was him. The sun was beginning to set and we drew the window tints and there was still no sign of Romeo. It was a Friday night and pretty busy, Kailinn, Terry and I stayed on the registers almost all night. Kailinn’s chipper mood faded as the night progressed, stealing the glorious green from her eyes.
Then the help call from one of the pumps went off.
“How can I help you?” She was monotone.
“Yea I need some help with the pump, I can’t get my gas to start.” The voice from the other end said.
“The computer says you ran your card, did you select your grade of gas?” I watched her lean over the mike and talk.
“Yea it still won’t go”
“Un click your pump and try again.” Kailinn was beginning to sound annoyed. People’s inability to run our incredibly simple pumps was incredibly frustrating for us. We would go all the way out there to do exactly what they said they’d done.
“Nope, still not working. Maybe you should just come out.”
“Okay sir, I’ll send someone right out.” She turned and looked at me and then looked at the other clerk. “Will you handle this?” The other clerk walked to the door.
“Uh, actually Kailinn I think you should handle this guy.” The clerk grinned at Kailinn.
“Fine.” She stomped off the register, but when she got to the door her whole demeanor changed. Her posture straightened her cheeks scrunched into a smile. I knew it was him. Everyone in the store tried to gander a view out the window. There he was sitting on the hood of his car, waiting. As she got closer, to him and farther from me, I could feel my heart sink.
But he stood and seemingly grabbed her and pulled her to him. She tried to push off his chest but his hand had come around and was grabbing her butt. I started out from around the counter. My blood was pumping and she was obviously struggling against him. But then I saw her hand pull back and punch him in he face. He let go of her and she kicked his shins and came running back to the store. She burst through the doors. I’d never seen her cry and something about watching the waterfall of her tears made me want to save the world, to kill him and to save her.
She didn’t slow down to make her way past any of us or any of the customers instead she just bolted to the bathroom. I looked around. Everyone who had been rooting for them was now standing, mouths hanging wide open. I went after her.
I pounded on the door of the bathroom, not wanting to go into the woman’s restroom but knowing I would. I got know answer. So I started to push the door open.
“Kailinn?” I asked peering through the small crack I had created. She looked back for an instant.
“Jordan, no. Leave me alone.” The door slammed back into my face. Shoving my arms back into my body.
There was mascara on her cheeks, and water droplets on her shirt. There was no longer green in her eyes; they were brown. I was no longer Jordy; I was Jordan. When there was a them, I had an us. But now she didn’t have him, and I didn’t have her.
