I'm stressed

I'm angry

I'm unlovable

I'm hurtful

I' m scared

It's solely me

It's serene

It's beautiful

It's worthwhile

It's peaceful

It's soothing

It's solely you

I'm calmed

I'm content

I'm loved

I'm safe

I'm patient

I've found you

(written N/A)

I remember the first time my eyes fell on your face,

I thought you were weird, a textbook nerd.

I didn't know then how much you would change me.

You've given me more than either of us know.

You've shown me sorrow, love, happiness;

You've taught me to strive for Christ.

I want to repay you, I'm indebted to you.

I know no amount of money or material things will suffice,

Nothing I can do will take this debt.

Only maybe if I have taught you something too.

(written Aug 4, 2002))

I dreamed of a crib with pink baby blankets,

I dreamed of a rocking horse where my daddy would push me.

I wanted to be held while I cried,

I wanted to be rocked to sleep while Mommy sang lullabies.

I yearned to wrap my five fingers around my family's fingers,

I desired to wriggle my bare toes in the green grass.

I know I'd make my mommy happy with my first smile and my constant giggles.

I know I'd love life and play in the sun and dance in the snow.

I didn't get the chance to breathe the fresh air I craved.

I never got to smile or love,

I never felt a coddle or a kiss.

I never got the love I was created for.

I felt warmth and safety, then pain and nothing.

What did I do wrong?

What have I done to make my mommy hate me so much?

Why doesn't she want me ?

What did I do?

(written 2005)